The WPTS Blog

The Joke's On You.

2009-04-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

Shannon W. Martin

So every year on the first of April, as you may well be aware, there are two types of people: people like me, who are innocent, unsuspecting, yet otherwise intelligent individuals, and the people who prey on them. Every year, it never fails – but I am duped, hoodwinked, and bamboozled, simply because I am liable to pretty much believe anything that anyone tells me. I like to think that I’m not necessarily gullible – but instead have a certain faith and trust in the honesty of humankind. Or at least that’s what I say to make myself feel better.

But after this past April 1^st, I have decided to take a stand, or rather a position. I’m tired of being mislead, especially if the joke is subpar. Thus, for future reference, if you intend on partaking in the festivities of April Fool’s Day – at least make it good. How do I do that you ask? Don’t worry, I took it upon myself to write up a few guidelines, so pay attention, and maybe even take notes:

Rule #1: DO NOT fake like you are Pregnant. For the most part, children are a beautiful thing, and to perpetuate the idea that you might be bringing life into this world is not so beautiful, nor is it creative. In fact its been done time and time again, and frankly, it’s getting a little old. And truth be told, it may not be worth it. Girls: It’ll most likely ruin your parent’s day. And if people acknowledge your less than flat belly and say “Aww, I thought gained weight, I just didn’t want to ask,” it probably ruin your day too. And Guys: No need to lie. We all know that if this were true, the baby probably wasn’t yours anyway.

Rule #2: Little white lies don’t count. Examples:

If we are in class and I ask whether or not you have a pencil I can borrow, and you say “No” knowing good and well that you do. Or if we share a class, and you see me on the street and swear up and down that: “OMG, did you know that we have a TEST in class today?!?!” while we both know, have seen, and own the syllabus. Or if we are walking down the street and you exclaim: “AHHH, look there’s a rabid DOG and he’s foaming at the mouth, and OMG he’s running towards us!!!!!!!,” just to see me run, stumble, and yelp down Forbes Avenue.

These are wack, and they don’t count - even if you laugh and decide to insert a “Hahahaha APRIL FOOL’S on the end. Try again.

Rule #3: Contrary to popular belief, Facebook is not real life. Therefore, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT try to trick people via Facebook. To do so shows lack of effort, lack of creativity, and reflects the desire and encouragement for people to Facebook stalk you. If that gives you some type of unwarranted self-esteem boost, then by all means do you. Just know that, on a scale from 1 to 10, Facebook jokes rate LAME.

So I guess the point I was trying to make is: if you insist on preying on the gullible inhabitants of the world – make it worth their while, be creative, and think outside the box. SM

NEW BLOGS!

2009-04-02T09:15:00.001-07:00

Hey cool kids,

New BLOGS section! Expect some cool new BLOGS to be posted here! In the meantime, take a look at the archived BLOGS below!

BLOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGGG!

2009-04-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

Past Features (including great hits such as "Is Crunk Necessary?")

BUMP IT: Probs Not by Ashley Boone

There is an epidemic that is sweeping the nation. In fact, this virus has been present for years (like 2 or something). I'm worried… I'm… scared.

Women be wearing hair bumps.

WPTS NEWS: The Change We Need by Zach Mueller

Just three weeks into the new administration-elect, the drama begins to unfold...

WPTS NEWS: Fair is Fair by Zach Mueller with a response by Beth Hackney

In an incident that flew under the radar in the post-election news bonanza, MSNBC announced that it will change its news slogan to "The Power of Change."

WPTS NEWS: From Here to 2012 by Zach Mueller

So Beth, it's finally over, and while this was probably one of the more predictable elections we've had in recent memory...

A Scene You Say? by Nate Hanson

I’m about to say something that may blow some young Pittsburgh minds: we do indeed have a music scene. I know this may be hard to digest, seeing as how really the only things that have come out of Pittsburgh have been...

Sonny Sharrock and the Freedom to Transcend Everything by Colin Post

So the disc that I’m going to open up this “music history” blog with is “Black Woman” by Sonny Sharrock. This is a pretty great album all around, but I figured that it would be a good one to kick this guy off with because it kind of transcends everything...

MSTRKRFT remix - John Legend's Green Light by Jamal Stone

To celebrate the inauguration of WPTS’s blog, why not bask in the glory of MSTRKRFT’s exquisite remix of John Legend’s most recent single, “Green Light”?...

WPTS NEWS: The Bailout and the Vice Presidency by Zach Mueller AND Beth Hackney

In this particular blog, Beth and I, your humble hosts of the Rundown (Tuesdays at 4PM), will go back-and-forth as we debate the most pressing and provocative issues in national politics...

WPTS: A Socialite's Dream by Kate Rath

Hi all, my name is Kate. I consider myself the Paris Hilton of Pittsburgh. I was once in the Pitt News Style Watch and I think my acting talent is on-par with the heiress herself...

Why you should love the movie “Fear”? by Ashley Boone

Among the sea of generation-x films, there are only a few gems. In fact, there is only one. A turbulent film of violence, sex, intrigue, and roller coasters, “Fear”...